jacobskeepers

How to freak out your husband Part II

2009-07-02T18:27:00.000-04:00

Very Detailed Instructions, read carefully and follow closely.
1. Fix dryer one week and many loads of backed-up laundry later
2. Soon after repairman leaves, notice the temperature rise on the thermostat.
3. Call husband, listen to him gripe and moan about how nothing else is left to fix in the house.
4. Remind him the water heater is still intact, but could jump on the "throw money at me" bandwagon at anytime. Imagine that it feels neglected and left out.
5. Call a/c company, which very concerned about us going without air conditioning and says we need them right away.
6. Agree. Toddler is sweating and unhappy about it.
7. Tell Repairman that no, I don't have a key to the roof, and yes, I'm working tomorrow.
8. Call management company to have them tell you it's not an emergency and to call back tomorrow morning.
9. Tell husband we don't have an emergency, even though we're all sleeping at our friends' house. Wonder if you'll be picking out a padded room for him next.
10. Miss a few hours of work going back and forth with management company to unlock the door. Let them tell you how late a 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. appointment window is for them because the groundskeeper only works until 3:30 p.m.
11. Get off the phone and sigh.
12. Remind husband to pick up toddler and practically cry when a party of six sits at your table at the precise moment restaurant closes.
13. Run screaming from restaurant at 3:45 to let in repairman.
14. Call husband with a bill totaling hundreds of dollars.
15. Revel in the fact that he's just happy the air is on and we can go back home.
16. Husband and child come home.

How to freak your husband out Part 1

2009-06-26T10:00:00.000-04:00

1. Have your part-time hours cut at work
2. Call him in the middle of the day to tell him that the refrigerator is not cold, the garbage disposal won't dispose and the keypad on the dishwasher won't key.
3. Call repair guy only to have him tell you that fixing is more expensive than replacing.
4. Call husband, again, relay pertinent info.
5. Have many exchanges about width, cost and necessity for new gadgets.
6. Buy new gadgets only to be told delivery men only have two of the three. Have one installed, one in the living room waiting to be installed and one not even sitting at lowes waiting to be delivered.
7. Have delivery men show up four days later at 7 a.m. unannounced to deliver third appliance.
8. Three weeks later, call husband to tell him the washing machine won't drain. Repeat steps 3-7.

Here's hoping people still read this . . .

2009-06-19T14:38:00.000-04:00

I'm two!!

Jacob is leagues more interesting than my monologues, so let's listen to him:

I'm two!! A big boy learning to do big boy things.
Fruits and vegetables are out. Fish sticks, chicken nuggets and oatmeal are in.
Talking is for people who have to do things themselves. My pediatrician thinks otherwise, but she hasn't heard my singing voice.
Harry Potter is still my hero. Elmo is for momma's boys.
As are toys. If I can't climb on it, throw it or hide it from mom and dad, I don't want it.
Mom and Dr. B say I'm sick, but I don't buy it. I think it's just an excuse to keep me out of the pool.

Our darling boy is a boisterous, affectionate, headstrong and heartstrong little man. As you can see, we have a few things to work on. Speaking isn't high on his priority list and though he does have a few words and shows us what he needs, his doctor is mildly concerned. His check-up is in a few weeks and we'll discuss it more then. I see speech therapy in his future, unfortunately. I'm not entirely worried that there's a problem, but the fact is that he should be saying a lot more than he does. He's also sick but doesn't seem to know it. I took him to the doctor today about his cough and hello! double ear infection. He's made absolutely no indication that his ears are bothering him and it makes me feel awful that he may have had others in the past and I had no idea. Leaves something to be said for his speech, at least. He's happy, but pulling off his diaper makes him happy, too. Can't trust a toddler to have the best judgment.

If anyone has suggestions for helping him speak (ahem, shannon), by all means, enlighten me. We read to him, speak to him constantly, point out things he uses and things he does, I just don't think we're as consistent as he requires. Pointers are very much appreciated.

I'm going to make a better effort to keep this updated. I'm not the most telephonically inclined person on the planet, but I appreciate all of your blogs and figure I can do the same.

2008-05-01T09:20:00.000-04:00

I know many of you have returned safely from Montana by now, but I wouldn't know anything about it. My dad has been back for two days now and though I'm at his house daily, I have not seen him. I've heard he's back, I collected his luggage off the front porch this morning, but I've not yet had a sighting. And true to form, he hasn't told me anything about any relation who attended any family function in Montana, I've heard from my mother that Liza is apparently very cute, that the memorial service was very nice, and that several people plan to make a trip down here for another family function in September. That is the extent of my knowledge about the Kaiser clan's pow-wow in the western wilderness. I'm actually pretty disappointed that we couldn't make it up; it would have been a looooong, stressful trip for a baby who can't stand to sit still unless he's about to crash, has outgrown all his pants and jackets and has to inhabit a house with people, and another baby, who can sleep through the night. But what can you do? Grandpa seemed to have had quite the fan club in attendance and our thoughts were with him that day.

The past weekend Jacob had his first truly bad fever; after moving through the day with a little cough and a low fever, he sat bolt upright in his crib at about 10 30 that night and was burning up at about 103 degrees. The doctor didn't find very much out of the ordinary besides a bit of chest congestion and the fever persisted throughout the weekend. Again, it was probably good we didn't make the trip.

As for James and I, there isn't much to report. We're moving along with wedding plans; if you didn't get a save-the-date yet you're likely in the next mailing. The Marco Eagle cancelled the majority of its columns for the off-season, so I'm no longer writing for the time being. I did, however, apply for a job with Scripps again. They're launching a local moms' website and need bloggers, writers and editors and they have flex-time available. It's right up my alley, so I'm hoping I'll hear back soon.

Man on the Run

2008-03-25T20:58:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a long time since I posted, but we've run into some complications that have made doing so difficult. Namely, I can't see the point of writing something when I have no pictures to go with it. Maybe it's my inner-reporter coming out, but I underestimate the attention span of readers and figure shiny monkey stuff must be included to make them read. Sorry guys. The hard drive on our computer had to be replaced and we can't find our hundreds of pictures or the camera's program so we can download new ones. That doesn't mean that things haven't kept moving around here. Jacob keeps growing, luckily, and few developments have happened in the household. First, I was baptized and confirmed at San Marco Catholic Church on Holy Saturday, and conversion is hands-down the most worthwhile and fulfilling undertaking I've, well, undertaken. Aside from having Jacob cut out of my abdomen, of course. James keeps on keeping on and I'm REALLY looking forward to summertime when his waiting job goes on hiatus. I'm sure he is too, but I'm the lady with the opinions who writes. He's also got some icky dental work to look forward too in the next few weeks, lucky man.
As for the boy, has he got a temper! He is a lovely, happy, affectionate child during the day, but anytime you need to accomplish something with him he turns it on. For me at least. He's got a serious Daddy attachment right now that is bordering on ridiculous, but it is really cute that he loves him so much. Diapering is a treat now, but nap and bedtimes, and mid-night wakings, are the WORST. I've never met a human being who hates sleep the way he does and he punishes me for it. We've tried it all and I've pretty much accepted that I won't get a full night's sleep until he's two. He's got a pediatrician's appointment soon and if she doesn't have any new suggestions, I'm out. Right now we're working on having "nice hands" and he's getting it well enough that he stops hurting us out of excitement. We conquered the "no" trick months ago. When he's into something he shouldn't be, he just sits back, giggles and finds something else to put his hands on. Walking is the next task on his list and luckily Jacob seems to have gotten fairly past the bonking stage, for now. He can stand on his own but he doesn't have the confidence to just do it. We'll catch him when he doesn't realize he's hands-free, but when he sees us looking he wobbles and catches himself. I took him to the newspaper office the other day to get some work done and when I looked beside me, there he was, just standing and watching me. Jacob has personality plus --- he flirts and coos at everyone he meets, has cuddles for everyone and is an incredibly active boy. He loves cheerios, noodles and marinara sauce, sugar cookies, rice and pretty much anything we let him feed himself with.

We're hoping to figure out the photo issue soon. As soon as we do we'll have all kinds of new stuff for you to look at.

Picks and Pans

2008-02-12T09:47:00.000-05:00

Not quite sure how James will feel about the morning picture, but I think it's cute.

A Jacob update: His first tooth came through! In the car! I swear I had my fingers in his mouth thirty minutes earlier to see if that's why he was fussing and in the car, poof! a tooth!
He can crawl! But he won't do it. I have to catch him at it and when he sees me watching he grins and rolls onto his back, hands outstretched.

Also need advice again, since this may directly affect everyone reading. Should we register for our wedding? I'm of two minds about it. One, it's easier for everyone else but two, James and I have been living together for awhile and have most of what we need. I've also always been squeamish about the implication of a registry, though I've certainly taken advantage of it before. We had one for Jacob when we had NO baby stuff, but I don't feel right telling people what gifts to buy us when, like I've said before, we have most of what we need. Suggestions are welcome!

BTW, save the dates will be in the mail next month.

I Need Help

2008-02-05T11:01:00.001-05:00

Has anyone else had this problem? We have a 900 sq ft condo, a normal amount of stuff for two adults and a baby and NO STORAGE SPACE. I'll admit, I hang onto a lot of my work wardrobe in hopes that I'll go back to my real job relatively soon, and James has his work wardrobe and a sizable stack of casual clothes too, but I seriously don't understand what I'm going to do with all our stuff. Besides clothes and kitchen stuff, we don't have all that much. I've had the habit of purging the my stuff about twice a year since college, which I've done, but it's gotten to the point that I don't want ANYTHING crossing the threshold so I leave it all in the car. Which makes problem number two. We have an overabundance of stuff for our lifestyle, but we use all of it. The condo was purchased when we figured it would only be James and me living here and could deal with the space issues since we would have an extra room, but selling now would be stupid. I need a solution. If anybody can offer any advice, please give it.

Do You Believe in Magic?

2008-02-04T10:27:00.001-05:00

Random pics first.

I'm not quite sure where to begin. The Giants actually won the Superbowl and the sky isn't falling. My general opinion of them is that they are the quintessential hit or miss team, but they managed somehow to bring down the Patriots. I took Jacob home at halftime and was asleep when Jordan called to talk to James and then he told me they won. I couldn't quite wrap my brain around it and when I called James he was .... serene. It almost seemed like he had found an inner peace once his love for the team had been validated. I'm going to see if I can get him to post about it because I'm unable to capture the event sufficiently.

Does This Apply to Me?

2008-01-17T13:41:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what kind of mother this makes me if I have to ask this question, but how much of this crap do I have to pay attention to? I guess they're taking child cold medicines off the counter so I have no choice but to dope up my mucousy buddle with prescription meds, but with all the warnings, advisories and general parent hysteria, mostly all I can think is, seriously? Do I really have to keep a running tab on all the toys NOT to buy Jacob because they might have lead in them? Well, maybe I should, but I don't buy them and they've mostly been pulled from the shelves anyway. Here's what comes to mind immediately about the things I seriously doubt would cause Jacob long-term and irreparable damage.

Starting finger foods before one.
Wearing perfume. Myself, not Jacob.
Using an exersaucer or walker.
Putting a pillow under his sheet to help drain his nose and throat. YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT! A PILLOW!
Letting him use a blanket now that he can roll, sit, pull it off and play peek-a-boo.
Stopping breastfeeding before he's two.
NOT CO-SLEEPING. Good lord, he and I spend entirely too much time together during the wee hours as it is.

Everyday on the morning news there's something about how I could be harming my child now and in the future, and almost none of it really has to do with anything with real issues to be concerned about. At times I think they're pandering to the lowest common denominator, like the parents who are too dumb to follow the dosage indications on over-the-counter medicines and end up overdosing their kids. But maybe they really do need to be hand-held, in that case.

Not breast

A Plague upon Our House

2008-01-13T19:26:00.000-05:00

One of the beauties of living in a resort town is the annual influx of bugs, maladies and infections snowbirds bring from up north. And everyone, the pediatrician assured me, is sick. Wonderful. That's the reassurance I needed the second time I took Jacob in for a cold this month. In fact, who knows if it's a cold, the flu or a respiratory infection, he said, but have some antibiotics just in case.
The latest bout of illness to hit our house followed quickly on the heels of Jacob's last cold right before Christmas and we all caught it. After being up with him all night last Wednesday, we took him to the doctor. Now that he seems to be recovering, I was knocked on my butt today with what seems to be the flu. Feeling a little better at the moment, but that's only after having slept for about six hours today. I'm starting to miss the days when I had the option of calling in sick and sitting on my butt to recover. Jacob doesn't really afford me that luxury.

Run, Run Rudolph

2007-12-29T09:27:00.000-05:00

James and I quickly ran into the perils of having a house too small to host our own holiday --- from noon on Christmas Eve until about 6 p.m. on the 26th, we ran and ran and ran. It was a great Christmas, to be honest, but exhausting. James family and mine live about twenty minutes away on either side of us and all day on Christmas we were running back and forth. For those of you who know Naples, we drove the forty minute route between North Naples and Marco Island FOUR TIMES. Even though we were soooo tired when it was all said and done, we can honestly say that all the driving was worth it. We had early morning presents at the Nesmiths, Christmas brunch and presents at the Kaisers, dinner at the Nesmiths and party at the Kaisers. We also spent Christmas Eve on Marco, where I went to a candlelight service with James' mom while he was working and later the two of us went to Midnight Mass when he was finished.

Jacob seemed to have had a great Christmas, considering that he was way too stimulated to nap at all. He got lots of presents, more keepsakes than anything else, though Grandma Maryann got him an exersaucer which I think will enable me to get some work done during the day again.

*Jacob's status report:

He will teeth unto eternity. Five months of drooling and chewing hasn't been enough to cut them.

He can sit up unassisted for quite a long time now, though he does cry if someone happens to catch his eventual nosedive into the floor.

He can draw his knees and hands underneath of himself and rock. Again, it usually ends with him eating the carpet.

Standing is his favorite thing to do and he's now tall enough to use his walker and exersaucer effectively. He likes hopping and twisting.

Diaper and clothing changes are a challenge --- he rolls everywhere and tries to roll off the changing table.

He likes to screech and yell and giggle. No one gets any peace when he's around.

2007-12-08T09:27:00.000-05:00

If these post, even badly, I'll be happy. Here's Jacob in Giants gear.

Here's Jacob's bath last week. I can't explain it, but he does everything sideways. Something about going off half-cocked, he said.

He thought his baptismal gown was good teething material. Here he is mid-bite.

It Ain't Me, Babe

2007-12-05T20:14:00.001-05:00

I've gotten requests for pictures and I've tried to comply, but apparently the network is having problems posting uploaded photos.

I'll keep trying until it works. Hopefully no one will lose interest by then.

Rocket Science

2007-12-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

This program's getting the better of me. here are the photos for the post below.

It's Rocket Science

2007-12-04T11:13:00.001-05:00

Here are the photos for the post below. This program's smarter than I am.

Cardiac Giants

2007-12-04T08:53:00.000-05:00

It's not something I completely understand, I don't think many women do, but our family shuts down for three hours every Sunday so that James can watch the New York Giants. It's not shown on t.v. here, so it usually means a trip to a sports bar on Marco Island with Jacob in tow. I keep hoping I can get a few hours to myself and James can take the time to indoctrinate the boy in football culture, but no. He feels that forcing the mother along makes the whole "bringing baby to a bar" situation kosher. I know it's because he doesn't want to watch the baby while he's so absorbed in the game, but I play along with it. It's the middle of the afternoon, it's a family-type atmosphere, but I get goaded into going. Usually there's another female friend there to commiserate with, but it's still deathly boring. And if any of you are familiar with the team, you'll recognize James' reference to the Cardiac Giants --- they put their fans through agonies every game before the outcome is certain. They have a talent for rallying late in the second half and winning OR getting soooo close. They also have a knack for embarrassing their fan base.

Depending on how they perform determines whether the three of us will be wearing our jerseys the next week. I stopped altogether this season --- but it varies from week to week between James and Jacob. That tells me it has no bearing whatsoever on the game, but James is committed and superstitious.

I put some random photos taken of him this last month. They include his baptism, halloween, his proclivity for hanging upside down, and his newfound love of bathtime.

Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod Don't Live Here

2007-11-25T20:02:00.000-05:00

Hey all,
If you were to knock on our door at 2 a.m. (count on a big scary James answering with a 'tude), chances are that you'd find two adults that aren't nearly as sleepy as you'd expect. Defensive, yes, but more cranky than sleepy. Jacob has not learned to sleep through the night yet. He has the energy to scream for an hour at a time, but not the resignation to figure out that Mom and Dad are tired of his antics. We tried letting him cry it out --- it works better for naps than bedtime. He's perfectly happy to wake up four times a night and let us replace his pacifier than to figure out how to make do. James and I have literally sat together in the middle of the night for an entire hour waiting for him to fall asleep, but relief never came. We were supportive of each other, he wasn't supportive of us. I thought I had his number once his pediatrician said we could sleep train him, but I have to fortify the Mother Will. Asserting your authority is so much easier when they aren't your own.
Besides his preference for wakefulness, he's probably the happiest baby I've ever seen; he gets all google-eyed when his dad comes home --- he prefers relaxing with men and flirting with women. He knows that Grandmas are the people from whom all good things come and that Momma fills his basic needs. He can sit upright and thinks that drooling and gumming can make his first tooth erupt more quickly. Grandpa the Furry Man is too funny and Uncle Ian has the best face. Peas are for spitting out and fresh pears are worth squawking for. He will only roll over when I'm not looking and play in his crib for a maximum of ten minutes, which is the amount of time it takes me to shower in the morning. Jacob has the perfect amount of hair and was honestly a pretty newborn. His middle name came from his late uncle Ryan, and he has huge feet. Don't get him started on how oatmeal cereal tastes, mashed potatoes are better. He's afraid of the parental will --- he's senses that it is quickly approaching so he screams louder. Mom and Dad say "no" more often than he's ever heard it, especially when it concerns what's headed for his mouth, and he doesn't like the sound of it.
James and I are doing what we do: he sells advertising at the Naples Daily News and I quit my reporting job and work in the afternoons for my mom at the preschool. I also freelance for my old paper and do copyediting for Neapolitan Family, a local magazine. Jacob was baptized in Oct. 28 with Aunt Debbie's help (she's his godmother) and I'm in the process of converting to Catholicism. Uncle Dustin is his godfather and Aunt Jess is his sponsor, so he's got a good thing going for him.
Please feel free to contact us, my e-mail is Lindsey_Kaiser@yahoo.com and James' is neztrain@hotmail.com. You can also reach us at 239-825-1951.

Love,
The newest Nesmiths (and a Kaiser)