How to freak out your husband Part II

Very Detailed Instructions, read carefully and follow closely.
1. Fix dryer one week and many loads of backed-up laundry later
2. Soon after repairman leaves, notice the temperature rise on the thermostat.
3. Call husband, listen to him gripe and moan about how nothing else is left to fix in the house.
4. Remind him the water heater is still intact, but could jump on the "throw money at me" bandwagon at anytime. Imagine that it feels neglected and left out.
5. Call a/c company, which very concerned about us going without air conditioning and says we need them right away.
6. Agree. Toddler is sweating and unhappy about it.
7. Tell Repairman that no, I don't have a key to the roof, and yes, I'm working tomorrow.
8. Call management company to have them tell you it's not an emergency and to call back tomorrow morning.
9. Tell husband we don't have an emergency, even though we're all sleeping at our friends' house. Wonder if you'll be picking out a padded room for him next.
10. Miss a few hours of work going back and forth with management company to unlock the door. Let them tell you how late a 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. appointment window is for them because the groundskeeper only works until 3:30 p.m.
11. Get off the phone and sigh.
12. Remind husband to pick up toddler and practically cry when a party of six sits at your table at the precise moment restaurant closes.
13. Run screaming from restaurant at 3:45 to let in repairman.
14. Call husband with a bill totaling hundreds of dollars.
15. Revel in the fact that he's just happy the air is on and we can go back home.
16. Husband and child come home.

How to freak your husband out Part 1

1. Have your part-time hours cut at work
2. Call him in the middle of the day to tell him that the refrigerator is not cold, the garbage disposal won't dispose and the keypad on the dishwasher won't key.
3. Call repair guy only to have him tell you that fixing is more expensive than replacing.
4. Call husband, again, relay pertinent info.
5. Have many exchanges about width, cost and necessity for new gadgets.
6. Buy new gadgets only to be told delivery men only have two of the three. Have one installed, one in the living room waiting to be installed and one not even sitting at lowes waiting to be delivered.
7. Have delivery men show up four days later at 7 a.m. unannounced to deliver third appliance.
8. Three weeks later, call husband to tell him the washing machine won't drain. Repeat steps 3-7.

Here's hoping people still read this . . .

I'm two!!


Jacob is leagues more interesting than my monologues, so let's listen to him:

I'm two!! A big boy learning to do big boy things.
Fruits and vegetables are out. Fish sticks, chicken nuggets and oatmeal are in.
Talking is for people who have to do things themselves. My pediatrician thinks otherwise, but she hasn't heard my singing voice.
Harry Potter is still my hero. Elmo is for momma's boys.
As are toys. If I can't climb on it, throw it or hide it from mom and dad, I don't want it.
Mom and Dr. B say I'm sick, but I don't buy it. I think it's just an excuse to keep me out of the pool.

Our darling boy is a boisterous, affectionate, headstrong and heartstrong little man. As you can see, we have a few things to work on. Speaking isn't high on his priority list and though he does have a few words and shows us what he needs, his doctor is mildly concerned. His check-up is in a few weeks and we'll discuss it more then. I see speech therapy in his future, unfortunately. I'm not entirely worried that there's a problem, but the fact is that he should be saying a lot more than he does. He's also sick but doesn't seem to know it. I took him to the doctor today about his cough and hello! double ear infection. He's made absolutely no indication that his ears are bothering him and it makes me feel awful that he may have had others in the past and I had no idea. Leaves something to be said for his speech, at least. He's happy, but pulling off his diaper makes him happy, too. Can't trust a toddler to have the best judgment.

If anyone has suggestions for helping him speak (ahem, shannon), by all means, enlighten me. We read to him, speak to him constantly, point out things he uses and things he does, I just don't think we're as consistent as he requires. Pointers are very much appreciated.

I'm going to make a better effort to keep this updated. I'm not the most telephonically inclined person on the planet, but I appreciate all of your blogs and figure I can do the same.

I know many of you have returned safely from Montana by now, but I wouldn't know anything about it. My dad has been back for two days now and though I'm at his house daily, I have not seen him. I've heard he's back, I collected his luggage off the front porch this morning, but I've not yet had a sighting. And true to form, he hasn't told me anything about any relation who attended any family function in Montana, I've heard from my mother that Liza is apparently very cute, that the memorial service was very nice, and that several people plan to make a trip down here for another family function in September. That is the extent of my knowledge about the Kaiser clan's pow-wow in the western wilderness. I'm actually pretty disappointed that we couldn't make it up; it would have been a looooong, stressful trip for a baby who can't stand to sit still unless he's about to crash, has outgrown all his pants and jackets and has to inhabit a house with people, and another baby, who can sleep through the night. But what can you do? Grandpa seemed to have had quite the fan club in attendance and our thoughts were with him that day.

The past weekend Jacob had his first truly bad fever; after moving through the day with a little cough and a low fever, he sat bolt upright in his crib at about 10 30 that night and was burning up at about 103 degrees. The doctor didn't find very much out of the ordinary besides a bit of chest congestion and the fever persisted throughout the weekend. Again, it was probably good we didn't make the trip.

As for James and I, there isn't much to report. We're moving along with wedding plans; if you didn't get a save-the-date yet you're likely in the next mailing. The Marco Eagle cancelled the majority of its columns for the off-season, so I'm no longer writing for the time being. I did, however, apply for a job with Scripps again. They're launching a local moms' website and need bloggers, writers and editors and they have flex-time available. It's right up my alley, so I'm hoping I'll hear back soon.

Man on the Run

I know it's been a long time since I posted, but we've run into some complications that have made doing so difficult. Namely, I can't see the point of writing something when I have no pictures to go with it. Maybe it's my inner-reporter coming out, but I underestimate the attention span of readers and figure shiny monkey stuff must be included to make them read. Sorry guys. The hard drive on our computer had to be replaced and we can't find our hundreds of pictures or the camera's program so we can download new ones. That doesn't mean that things haven't kept moving around here. Jacob keeps growing, luckily, and few developments have happened in the household. First, I was baptized and confirmed at San Marco Catholic Church on Holy Saturday, and conversion is hands-down the most worthwhile and fulfilling undertaking I've, well, undertaken. Aside from having Jacob cut out of my abdomen, of course. James keeps on keeping on and I'm REALLY looking forward to summertime when his waiting job goes on hiatus. I'm sure he is too, but I'm the lady with the opinions who writes. He's also got some icky dental work to look forward too in the next few weeks, lucky man.
As for the boy, has he got a temper! He is a lovely, happy, affectionate child during the day, but anytime you need to accomplish something with him he turns it on. For me at least. He's got a serious Daddy attachment right now that is bordering on ridiculous, but it is really cute that he loves him so much. Diapering is a treat now, but nap and bedtimes, and mid-night wakings, are the WORST. I've never met a human being who hates sleep the way he does and he punishes me for it. We've tried it all and I've pretty much accepted that I won't get a full night's sleep until he's two. He's got a pediatrician's appointment soon and if she doesn't have any new suggestions, I'm out. Right now we're working on having "nice hands" and he's getting it well enough that he stops hurting us out of excitement. We conquered the "no" trick months ago. When he's into something he shouldn't be, he just sits back, giggles and finds something else to put his hands on. Walking is the next task on his list and luckily Jacob seems to have gotten fairly past the bonking stage, for now. He can stand on his own but he doesn't have the confidence to just do it. We'll catch him when he doesn't realize he's hands-free, but when he sees us looking he wobbles and catches himself. I took him to the newspaper office the other day to get some work done and when I looked beside me, there he was, just standing and watching me. Jacob has personality plus --- he flirts and coos at everyone he meets, has cuddles for everyone and is an incredibly active boy. He loves cheerios, noodles and marinara sauce, sugar cookies, rice and pretty much anything we let him feed himself with.

We're hoping to figure out the photo issue soon. As soon as we do we'll have all kinds of new stuff for you to look at.

Picks and Pans

Not quite sure how James will feel about the morning picture, but I think it's cute.

A Jacob update: His first tooth came through! In the car! I swear I had my fingers in his mouth thirty minutes earlier to see if that's why he was fussing and in the car, poof! a tooth!
He can crawl! But he won't do it. I have to catch him at it and when he sees me watching he grins and rolls onto his back, hands outstretched.

Also need advice again, since this may directly affect everyone reading. Should we register for our wedding? I'm of two minds about it. One, it's easier for everyone else but two, James and I have been living together for awhile and have most of what we need. I've also always been squeamish about the implication of a registry, though I've certainly taken advantage of it before. We had one for Jacob when we had NO baby stuff, but I don't feel right telling people what gifts to buy us when, like I've said before, we have most of what we need. Suggestions are welcome!

BTW, save the dates will be in the mail next month.

I Need Help

Has anyone else had this problem? We have a 900 sq ft condo, a normal amount of stuff for two adults and a baby and NO STORAGE SPACE. I'll admit, I hang onto a lot of my work wardrobe in hopes that I'll go back to my real job relatively soon, and James has his work wardrobe and a sizable stack of casual clothes too, but I seriously don't understand what I'm going to do with all our stuff. Besides clothes and kitchen stuff, we don't have all that much. I've had the habit of purging the my stuff about twice a year since college, which I've done, but it's gotten to the point that I don't want ANYTHING crossing the threshold so I leave it all in the car. Which makes problem number two. We have an overabundance of stuff for our lifestyle, but we use all of it. The condo was purchased when we figured it would only be James and me living here and could deal with the space issues since we would have an extra room, but selling now would be stupid. I need a solution. If anybody can offer any advice, please give it.